Patiently,Love,
Darkness surely  descends,
Obscured by hope, this life,
reality it transcends,
To different realms of infinite grey,
Look back and reminisce in hurt pain and fray,
we walk on hallowed ground, amongst a rain of tears,
Lost within us, these concept of love lust and fear,
waiting for this dust to swallow us whole,
In decay a lifetime of morbid remorse,
Leave behind this worl of rage hate and resentment,
Walking dazed  amongst these stranger settlements!

Days gone wrong

Don't screw up the best thing that ever happened to you just because you're a little unsure about who you are.

another love gone wrong.
another heart to shatter .
welcome to reality where,
feelings dont matter.

how come i can remember,
every single hurtful word said,
but not the answers that matter,
if i fall in love with someone else..
it's not because i wanted to.
it's because you were never there to
catch me when i fell..

Stay close enough to have fun,
yet far enough to not get hurt,
and when you start to fall for her,
just remember who caused that dent in your heart.

Why do we fail ourselves in life, as a person, in dignity,morality,principle and sometimes as a Human being. Justification of what ought to abhorred and apathy of everything else only makes us Jaded..... continually having to adjust to each new wave of moral darkness, taking a toll.

It is difficult, when our eyes continually have to adjust to each new wave of moral darkness, to be asked to focus on the very heart of darkness. There is at least some form and feature still visible on the current moral landscape, and our eyes are naturally drawn to distinguish things by what light remains We of course live in a world where evolution is questioned, the moon landing is a controversy while reality shows are make big buck/

The idea of morality may differ from one person to another but at the end of the day they all have the same underlying framework....based on Honor dignity and righteousness||Because honor was such a central aspect of a man’s masculine identity, men would go to great lengths to win honor and prevent its loss.


No more is a mans reputation based on his integrity or talent but on his bank balance and the money he throws around and other superficiality/.....On what he wears rather than on what he is. On what he can afford to buy than on what he can give back!  Faith in humanity effectively is lost. This is the age of decadence marching towards its own end. A march towards apocalypse.

Carousel Dreams....

lost for words. too hurt to speak. wondering what the goal is. how long does it take, for the carousel to stop turning? for the person in the booth to realize that no one wants to be on the ride anymore? she’s holding on, and i’m watching her, scared. the music is still going and no one knows where we stand. i’m jumping, because i can’t take it anymore. the music, and subtle hate, the desperate happiness that doesn’t exist. it’s all too much. and everyone wants it to be over. i’m off, making my way over to the booth. to take control. so it all stops. the music. the turning. we split paths again, making excuses for nothing. to go nowhere. cold hands, closed eyes, words unspoken. and now, physical pain. friends separated for eternity. no turning back. lost souls floating in a cloudy above. and there she stands, alone, wondering what to do. what will happen when there is no one left. because that’s how it is now. she knows to not take action. action does nothing but leave the situation worse. forgiveness are words that mean nothing to the person who said them or the one listening. and now she’s alone. shouting, cursing, fear, pain. shaking hands, trembling lips. now. what’s left. a girl running her life by, spinning into thin air. materializing into what? what she already was. something not seen. but instead of seeming nothing, she is nothing. so what’s changed? you ran back. you ran as fast as you could. you were sprinting. your life depended on it. while you watched me disappear. and you didn’t catch me. you were too late. no more barriers, no more hate, no more pain. i’ve taken what you never wanted in the beginning: me.


This is a story of a girl who used to be mean a lot to me, a girl who is now lost to me, and a girl who unfortunately enough i still care about.. i dont know who to trust anymore. because from my experience, everyone leaves in the end anyway.

Lost.....

You said you loved me, you said you cared,
but when I turn around you are not there.
I waited for you long enough
you put me through hell and never gave up.
You pushed and pulled and played with my heart
the moment you said we will never be apart,
now I am looking at you dead in your eyes
and all along you were telling me lies.
I'll never forget what you put me through
but sure enough you'll want me to come back through.
In the end, just to let you know
I'll always love you rain, sleet, or snow.

S'cuse Me While I Kiss The SkY!

Forty two years has passed since the death of an legend. This man could make the guitar talk. And talk it did in seductive notes and ecstatic tunes. This man hugely influenced to birth of hard rock, and to an extet heavy metal. This was Jimi hendrix and man, was he a God in his own accord. This man rocked souls the world over. He made magic at the Woodstock festival.

Hendrix is widely known for and associated with the use of psychedelic drugs, most notably Acid(LSD), had smoked cannabis and drank alcohol previously. Amphetamines are also recorded as being used by Hendrix during tours. Hendrix was notorious among friends and bandmates.

Jimi Hendrix, perhaps the most innovative guitarist to ever visit our planet, died on Sept. 18, 1970, leaving behind an unimaginable legacy and body of work considering his short time with us.

Sweet Nothing

Gone are the days when love was real and happiness true,
and yet now all i do is think of you,
As i used to whisper sweet nothings into your ears, all yu did was smiled them through.
What of the time yu left me alone, standing on a lonely road not knowing where to go!

Curse now as yu may as i sing it thru,
wat matters if this is naive as i sing sweet nothings to yu,
That the most could not pleasure yu...

and somewhere under a solitary tree lies a lonely grave, buried where my happiness and tears,
numbness lies here beside in bed, for though yu knew my love was true and my life was all yu.....

now i carry my heart in a golden bag , for yu my love for YU.

The Death Of Ideals

I witness hatred, remorse, regret and apathy on a everyday basis. We all do. We ignore ethos, respect and a long forgotten word on which the modern society was built on.... Honour. We live a narcissitic life. this may seem like hypocrisy  to the ones who may know me only superficially,


An hypocrite i may be, but my rants make perfect sense to the people of my wavelength. We may be branded different and maybe by some as idiots, but we are of descript values and morals. And on the topic of which, i feel the current culture is done with. What i am talking about is upstanding morals and ideals. I am not talking about keeping the law or upholding dignity but of values, not for the sake of "having too" but wanting too. Even the movies today, but a few, promote having low morals and behaving like a scoundrel. Movies of Vijay, Dhanush or silambarasan glamourzse the role of the road side rascal to a point that the behaviour is picked up and influenced the normal people. Now the arguement maybe tht people have the tendency to think on their own,make their own decisions, but such is not the case normally. In my observation, a lot of people i know lack the tendency to form their own opinions. But thats beyond the point of dicussion and maybe for a different post. Coming back to topic, the populace on a whole has accepted the loss of morals and values and even feel very comfortable in this. They find stepping on the smaller guy acceptable and in fact sometyms it is found to be commendeble by some.  They believe eve teasing or demonizing the modern woman is acceptable, because after all they deserve it. Its jus a modern watered down version of the salem witch trials.

And also The rampant nepotism and cronyism is the norm and bribery and cheating is allright as long as yu dont get caught. The general consensus is that if you are rich, you are doing something right and even if it is morally unacceptable by the usual standards. Why not. Chivalry, bravery ,courage, idealism and the need to stand up for what is right are after all outdated. This genertion is the death of ideals.When you have complete freedom without a sense of morality to restrain it, you have anarchy. I am amused by the irony that is my life. While on the one hand i am annoyed and disgusted by the complete  disregard of human decency, I am amazed by the complete lack of remorse with which such actions are carried, and ultimately justified.

As tears touch this sullen face,
the sky cries down on this melancholy day,
I stand on the edge holding everything that is dear,
an ennui takes over as the waves touch me in fear,
i walk into this dark abyss, till at my neck the water kisses,
Wat secrets do these depths behold, another deep breath i take and hold.
Another day shall i wlak into this water, another day, deeper shall i wade.
till then hold me in your memories my grace, till then hold me in your minds embrace.

in another world..... of dreams

in transcendent visions,
memories of a haunted past,
as a mist sets,
 blurring all that is gone and lost,
dig deep into hallowed ground,
 buried here are my hopes and dreams,
Strike a melancholy note to give tune to prose, to fantasy reams.

The Afghan

#Quote -

'May God deliver us from the venom of the Cobra, teeth of the tiger, and the vengeance of the Afghan.'
                           - Mousa, Rambo III


Tora Bora.... A funny name to me. Sounds right out of a Disney cartoon to me. This cave complex known locally as "Spin Ghar" in the mountains of Safed Koh (white Mountain) was said to house the dreaded Al Queda militant Osama Bin Laden. During the US invasion of Afghanistan it was one of the strongholds of the Taliban and its Al-Qaeda allies.

Tora Bora was variously described by the western media to be an 'impregnable cave fortress' housing 2000 men complete with a hospital, a hydroelectric power plant, offices, a hotel, arms and ammunition stores, roads large enough to drive a tank into, and elaborate tunnel and ventilation systems. But what it was, was a small cave with basic housing & heating facilities holding hard men, holding back the most modern army in the world.

The Bombing Of Tora Bora

Not to sympathise with these insurgents, but these men were nothing but local populace who took up arms against a invading force, when yu see it from this point of view. Not every man in Tora Bora was a Al Queda man.

Also, were'nt the Mujhaideen supported by the Americans during the cold war? Supplied with SAM's??

Wat it may be..,.. Bin Laden in the end was not found in Afghanistan. But in Pakistan.

An encapsulation of this can be viewed in the movie Rambo III.Anyone who has seen this film particularly within the last decade will have probably noticed what seemingly must be a 'strange' attitude towards the Afghan fighters, or specifically the Mujahideen fighting "the foreign invasion".

The irony was not lost on the studio/distributor. Here's a quick movia trivia:
The movie ends with two quotes: "This film is dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan." and "I am like a bullet, filled with lead and made to kill" However, this was a not the original quote in the movie. Prior to the American war in Afghanistan, the ending quote of the movie read "This film is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan". This was then edited to read "people of Afghanistan" during the post 9/11 era.

Of dreams and graves!!

Being a lost soul in the sea of dreams,
Memories and visions of the future,
These magic things, the float past my head,
determined to be remembered past my death,

such a grim picture, of violence, death and pain,
A never-ending cycle, of true belief and doubt in vain,
Almost sure I’ve reached my limit, need to find my way out
But where to find solace, looking everywhere, only to find my grave,

Oh... but of lost hopes and broken dreams,
lay these withered bones for eternal peace,

A Haunting Sorrow

Spring has come and gone,
the wind has stopped for so long.
The Hollowness inside me scares,
with no longer no dreams,no nightmares.

The pain of your memories haunting,
Yu left me hoping to the day,
it all comes to an end.

The Burden of sorrows,
hangs over my head.
crushed with the sadness,
it feels better to be dead.
The reason which i shall not know,
of why she shall never be mine.
I welcome my vice,
they tell me it will all be fine.

My India!!

Warning: This is a rant. Hey, it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.

I'm tired of people dissing India. Constantly. Oh Indian politicians suck. Indian roads suck. Indian behavior sucks. And let me tell you, hypocrisy sucks.

If you are going to sit in your nice comfortable well-furnished apartment in London or New York City or wherever and continue complaining about how "you just can't spend more than two weeks in India because the pollution and lack of cleanliness is getting to you", this is what I have to say "Don't Come!!". We didn't invite you in the first place.

I don't get it. I understand India is dirty, its even downright filthy in places. But let me tell you, Indians want it to be clean too. With 50 people on an average using a hospital restroom in ONE HOUR, vs 1.5 people in 2 hours in the US, yes, the restrooms are going to be dirtier.

And please don't even for a single moment imagine that you are "in touch" with India just because you read The Hindu online version and watch NDTV and Sun TV. You're not. If you don't live in India, you're not in touch with the country. And you're definitely not helping.

So stop with the complaining because your white shirt got a little yellow because the water in India is so bad. Or you got a little bit of Delhi Belly eating from the five star restaurant. Or that train travel "just isn't what it used to be when we were growing up". Stop the pretense. You left India because you wanted to - not to make India proud or to give back to India. You wanted a better life for yourself, which is exactly how it should be. So don't start pretending now.

As I said, it's a rant. One more thing - if you don't like it, don't come. I think those who live here are trying to do the best we can to make India better, and we don't need you to come here just to tell us how bad it is.

Thanks.

The Obscurities Of Change

Everything is so close. down the road or down the street. and no one makes choices. no one wants change because change means sadness. and sadness means disappointment. and disappointment means expectations that weren’t met. people live so that sadness doesn’t touch them, grief doesn’t hit them, and fear doesn’t push them. but instead, the sadness taunts them, the grief worries them, and the fear kills them. no, living isn’t overrated, but the subject is delicate. at this point, everyone stops trying to be someone they can’t be. stop trying to impress no one that matters. stop trying to be someone they aren’t. everyone is different and everyone has expectations that can’t be met. some of us can’t deal with it. speaking of the general subject, life is already planned. someone already knows what happens. there is no changing it. there is no getting rid of the past. the past. everyone is the same in a way. we all avoid what we are afraid of. run away from the things that scare us. think about the past and let it haunt us for a little while. turn away from the people that love us, and try to love the people that hate us. never tell the truth to anyone because no one believes you, anyway. talking doesn’t help, because it leads to shouting. it leads to arguments that should have never been started from someone you wish you had never met, when at the time, you could have sworn it was the time of your life. then everyone is screaming and all of a sudden the world is passing you by, in a swirling mass of confusion and hate, love and anger. no one can help, because no one understands and the people that do are too afraid to speak up. home is not where the heart is, because the heart is distant, and the mind is wandering. the life that was inevitable has begun.

Sometimes it’s one call, and sometimes its one word. sometimes it’s one person who you thought you could trust. and all the time, it doesn’t end well. at this moment, everyone is distant. you’re walking around, lost to the world, staring at the sky, wondering why life is pushing you the wrong way. wondering what’s wrong, and why trying to fix it is like doing nothing. shivering from the fear and worry, choking from the breath that may be your last. remembering how everyone hurt you, and how no one cared. walking down the stone path of memories, wishing you could stand the hurt thrust upon you from above. no one is shouting anymore. everyone stares down at the table because no one knows what to say. the tension is heavy, drowning us. some of us are swimming, and some of us are trying to. a clear sphere drops with a splish on the table and everyone slowly looks up. and we really are drowning. the skid of the chairs on linoleum, the confusion in your eyes, and the fear in mine. the hurt in hers. head in hands, darkness the only escape. this time, everyone is lost. we remember how everything happened, what used to be that no one would ever try to bring back. forgetting memories because all they do is make everything worse. remembering yesterday, because that is the only thing left to hold on to. quiet glances in the hallways, secrets passed through pupils. learning from last time, no words are spoken. because words mean another argument, and another argument won’t do anyone any good today. splitting ways, torn apart. ripped pages, broken lives. no more pretending.

To Dwell and Dead Dreams!!

A wise man once said it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. But what if your dreams are when you are the happiest? When misery and pain are your only companions when you are conscious, and in the dream is when you are truly alive.... Our dreams are, but our sub concious reflecting our deepest desires and the desperate cravings in your heart. And what if it is only in your dreams can you have that. Reality takes away what your heart craves. Its is your dream that gives it to you. It lets you hope, that one day even that will come true. I live in my dreams.... I live everyday a life time, in them... i live in them where my deepest darkest and most desperate of desires come alive. I am with the person i love, with the all my fantasy's taking shape. I feel complete in them. It leaves a shallow feeling when i wake up but nonetheless, i feel one day these dreams will not be only dreams but will one day come true. I will be alive in the world, in reality, and i will be happy once more. I believe that one day what i once lost will come find me and  i will be complete again. Till then my dreams shall be my elixir of life, keeping my will and hopes alive.

The sorrowness of the withered Prose...

Spring has come and gone,
the wind has stopped for so long.
The Hollowness inside me scares,
with no longer no dreams,no nightmares.

The pain of your memories haunting,
Yu left me hoping to the day,
it all comes to an end.

The Burden of sorrows,
hangs over my head.
crushed with the sadness,
it feels better to be dead.
The reason which i shall not know,
of why she shall never be mine.
I welcome my vice,
they tell me it will all be fine.

The Ugly Truth,

Its always hard to face the truth. Especially when it involves someone very close to you. A friend, family or even your better half. You can block the truth only so much. It eventually comes out. Especially when yu introspect. And yu tend to do that a lot when you are as free as i am. Sometimes this truth may bring a smile to your face, but more often than not, it is not so. There is a reason its called the Ugly truth. Trust and love are feeble emotions. It makes your vulnerable to hurt. And nothing hurts nore than the truth.  The truth that you are being backstabbed by your friends, ignored by your family or of lesser priority to your love.  Realisation eventually dawns and the sadness sets in. There is only so much denial left in a man. but there is always accepting the truth but still holding on to emotions. This may sound dumb, but love for family and your better half. Well if it is true, you gotta accept the cold hard truth and live with it. No drama, no drastic steps. No revenge. Jus a glum pale acceptance. A cold sharp pain in the chest and then you put one leg in front of another to take the next step.... Literally and metaphorically.

Second love.... An elusive thought.

Can love happen again?  Can a hurt and bleeding heart heal and feel the intense emotions  and ecstacy of being in love once again. I do not know. Till now i am still haunted in my dreams by her image. I still hope secretly she comes back while i put out a brave face for the rest of the world. And yet it has happened.TO stronger souls maybe.....  The find love once more.... But i have my doubts... Does the past ever really go away? Dont the regrets and tears come back. Do yu apply what yu learnt to make this one suceed. Then doesnt this make it science then a relationship. A experiment than love. I do not know and i am still ignorant of the heart and soul... I await for a miracle to happen... A slim hope, yet not fading,,,, Holding on to a straw on a stormy night in the deep sea.... As the idea and thought of falling in love once again still eludes me.

A random rambling.......... of a depressed soul

I have something to say....

yu lie down at night and yu close your eyes and yu feel something. Yu always feel the remnants of the day ligering in your thought even when you shut your eyes to put a stop to what it was.

Somedays laughter and gaitey happens to be a good companion but on most, a deep sense of loss, a sense of what and how it could have been haunts your nights.


Everything is so close. and yet everything is so far. You reach out to it, and jus cannot touch it. I look up and ask myself, wats your purpose. Why are yu here? What do yu want from me. but answers i do not get.

Why all this hurt and yet a void in me. wi does this hollowness engulf me as everyday goes by. What is the point of this meaningless existance when a simple heart yu could not please.

there is no getting rid of the past. the past haunts everyone is the same in a way. we all avoid what we are afraid of. run away from the things that scare us. think about the past and let it haunt us for a little while. turn away from the people that love us, Why is there this nothingness inside us?

Pills and alcohol had been a good comapnion, when life had let me down,
to move on the way i have. Holding to the past, not letting things pass, No more. The reasons to embrace the past has made me let go of my vices.............

Now i felt this apathy and i wonder if t makes me a hypocrite. maybe. But does it make me a Bad person? I do not know,,,,, Something on my mind
so anyways.......... The thing is. i donot feel any kind of pity or sadness for this world anymore...., I have enough reasons to hurt as such.... This is how lyf is.

A random rambling.......... of a depressed soul

I have something to say....

yu lie down at night and yu close your eyes and yu feel something. Yu always feel the remnants of the day ligering in your thought even when you shut your eyes to put a stop to what it was.

Somedays laughter and gaitey happens to be a good companion but on most, a deep sense of loss, a sense of what and how it could have been haunts your nights.


Everything is so close. and yet everything is so far. You reach out to it, and jus cannot touch it. I look up and ask myself, wats your purpose. Why are yu here? What do yu want from me. but answers i do not get.

Why all this hurt and yet a void in me. wi does this hollowness engulf me as everyday goes by. What is the point of this meaningless existance when a simple heart yu could not please.

there is no getting rid of the past. the past haunts everyone is the same in a way. we all avoid what we are afraid of. run away from the things that scare us. think about the past and let it haunt us for a little while. turn away from the people that love us, Why is there this nothingness inside us?

Pills and alcohol had been a good comapnion, when life had let me down,
to move on the way i have. Holding to the past, not letting things pass, No more. The reasons to embrace the past has made me let go of my vices.............

Now i felt this apathy and i wonder if t makes me a hypocrite. maybe. But does it make me a Bad person? I do not know,,,,, Something on my mind
so anyways.......... The thing is. i donot feel any kind of pity or sadness for this world anymore...., I have enough reasons to hurt as such.... This is how lyf is.

enn kaadhal kavidhai!!

Muzhuvadhum undhan kannavugal adi.
 yen kangal urangum naeramo sugame,
Un koondhal manamo enna mayakkam adhi,
 unn muthatil enna sorgam naan kandhaen.
Unn Vizhiil moksham Kondaen.
  Indru enn vazhuvin arthum kandaen,
Megathai aadaiyai adainthu vandhayo,
Ennai vappam kondhu thottaiyo,
   neeyae en svaasam anniyae pennae,
 Naanum kaadhal kondu nadanthaen.
Adhiyae devadhai pennae nee yengae,
      Unnai thedum kangal yennodhu,
 Naan ingu pittam kondhu alaigiraen!!

Redefining our Lives

It's time to define the new era. Our faith has been shaken. We've lost confidence in our leaders and in our institutions. Our beliefs have been tested. We've discredited the notion that the world would ever change. Our expectations have been dashed. We've abandoned the idea of Love hope and happiness. we have finally accepted that the fairy tale ending of "ever after" is just that. A fairy tale. we are seduced by the idea that picking up the pieces and simply tweaking the formula will get the party started again. Its that tym when we have flushed down the drain our imagination, inspiration and ingenuity. In spite of our best thinking and most searing experience, our ideas about growth and success are mired in a boom-bust mentality. Like the mice followed the pied piper, we follow the trends. Very few stand up to break them. When an old man sat down to fast against corruption. we so blindly sat with him. Us the younger generation. The future. Wi is it that so few of us even questioned this man. Not that i am insinuating that his cause needed any questioning.And also, i look around and wonder, how the very ones who pay the Traffic seargent/Constable for whatever reasons get so worked up about corruption.But that is beyond the point. Wi was this not initiated by anoyone from our generation. The generation X,Y or Z or whatever.... 

I sit down today to lament and woe on the state of affairs for one reason. On TV there was a list of magical moments in India since Independence, and i realised that the one which gave me goosebumps and made me introspect and be proud of my country were the ones that happened decades before. I see images on fB wall claiming us to be the best generation for the things we enjoyed but not the things we changed. We, the new generation are so allured to the "American dream" that we forget our own.  No.... This should not be.

Those who are lit by that passion are the object of envy among their peers and the subject of intense curiosity. They are the source of good ideas. They make the extra effort. They demonstrate the commitment. They are the ones who, day by day, will rescue this drifting ship. And they will be rewarded. With money, sure, and responsibility, undoubtedly. But with something even better too: the kind of satisfaction that comes with knowing your place in the world.